Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Trap Them - Seizures In Barren Praise

Trap Them
Seizures In Barren Praise
Deathwish Inc.

I'd like to issue a brief update about the goings-on at SRLCO Laboratories (for those not hip to the lingo, SRLCO is the SketchTown/Roughdale Laboratory Cooperative a.k.a. the studio space for the Deep River Massive). Anyway, before I bog this thing down with inside jokes meant for six people, here's what's on deck for the next two weeks: a review of the new Protest The Hero album for Buddyhead, a review of the new Toxic Holocaust for No Control, a review of the Watain show at Red7 (show's tonight BTW), the debut of Late Night Sneaky Uncle by Goo Fish, a preview of Fun Fun Fun Fest for a yet-to-be-determined website, and tons more. The No Funeral train is rolling. Tell your friends.

With that said, today's post was a flimsy pretext to post a fresh copy of Trap Them's already-legendary second LP Seizures In Barren Praise. Here's what I had to say about the record in my Best of 2008 column:

Trap Them has never heard of the sophomore slump and Seizures in Barren Praise has reached a new level of ferocity with their second LP. It’s the heaviness of Swedish death metal with the bleak prospects of American crust. Grim shit, indeed. Maybe it is Entombed for the new-school, but who cares? Prepare to be killed.

This album still sounds fresh and, for my money, Trap Them are America's best metal/grind/death/ignorant band. Click below and judge for yourself.


Monday, October 28, 2013

Seeker - Unloved


Unloved is the debut LP from the Lone Star State's latest "next big thing", D/FW's own Seeker. The band clawed its way out of the club scene, annihilating audiences at The White Rabbit, Walter's, The Dirty Dog, and other Texas music venues; but now, with Victory's backing, Seeker is ready blast the new jams to the throngs of new fans pouring into such legendary clubs as The White Rabbit, Walter's, and The Dirty Dog.

But enough about that. What's going on with this record?

Simply put, Unloved is a mixed bag. I suppose the motif of the album could be described as DL from THE ACACIA STRAIN playing lead guitar for REMEMBERING NEVER. More than the overpowering mosh attack, Unloved is dripping with an undeniable influence of Calculating Infinity-era DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN. The best songs on the record, such as "Dominance" have the fewest Dillinger-isms about them.

Unloved is a solid debut from a band trying to navigate a difficult music business. I suppose my only genuine complaint is that this record so immediately and unmistakably sounds like the works of other bands that it distracts from any band-voice that Seeker can construct. Any momentum the band builds gets derailed when that riff from that Remembering Never song. If you like this style of amelodic metalcore, there are other bands (XIBALBA, LAST TEN SECONDS OF LIFE, etc...) that play this exact same style much better. Unloved sounds great and is an enjoyable listen but I'm not sure if anyone will be jamming this five years from now. I look forward to Seeker eventually producing a great work of art in the future. Unfortunately, this ain't it.

Hey, at least they didn't rip off The Faceless.

Here's the video for the title track:

Here's the video for "When Hope Fails":

Here's where things get tricky. Victory Records is hosting a full-album stream of Unloved but only for the next 24 hours. Click here to jam the new Seeker LP. You've got until Tuesday night (29Oct13).


Thursday, October 24, 2013

New Impending Doom song - "Ravenous Disease"

Impending Doom premiered another new song today and I'd like to share it with you. You know why? Because Impending Doom is the rare band that's actually getting better as it goes along.

In an age where most bands simply regurgitate whatever their "breakthrough hits" are, Impending Doom continues to refine it's "gorship" sound. Remember, "gorship" is what Impending Doom calls their brand of gory, doomy, nu-metally death/grind with lyrics that reflect the band members' Christian beliefs. The band has hit one of those streaks where each new release blows away the old stuff and Death Will Reign is no different. I've been a fan of Impending Doom for years and have had nothing but positive things to say about the band. Anyway, less talk and more rock. Here's "Ravenous Disease."

Pretty cool, huh? Well, check this out. "Ravenous Disease" is the second song from Death Will Reign to be debuted so far. Listen to the title track.

Awesome stuff. Good band gets better. Touring and all that jazz soon. Go get the record on November 5, 2013.


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Videodrome (I)

If it feels like the last week's worth of posts have all been "quick hits", it's because they have. Like I said yesterday, big things are cooking in the SRLCO Laboratory but the No Funeral train keeps on rolling. This marks the beginning of another new column titled Videodrome which is exactly what it sounds like. This is a collection of brutal, trill, and ignorant video clips with news and notes throw in the mix. Got a video that the world needs to see? Send is to Now, on with the show...

Two people got stabbed during Broken Hope's set in El Paso last night. The band is currently on tour with Deicide. Details of the attack have been sparse, although the members of Broken Hope reported that one of the victims had his throat cut with a boxcutter. You better believe that No Funeral will continue to follow this story. Below is Broken Hope's entire set from 5Oct13 in Delaware.

Now on to happier things, like one of the coolest music videos I've ever seen. Long-running straightedge band Down To Nothing got very creative with a small budget and came up with a winner. Check it out:

Speaking of cool, there's nothing particularly special about this next video (typical MTV fare) but, man, what a song! You should know this one already...

I wonder if Ol' Dirty Bastard still has coke in his shoe. You know? A send-off thing, kind of like GG Allin's funeral. Think about it.

Since we've already "got dirty" once, why stop now?

We kept it dirty. Now it's time to keep it real.

...really real.

How much reality can you take?

...annnnnd close with a little silliness.

See you next week.


Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Destroy - Burn This Racist System Down!

Burn This Racist System Down!

This will be another brief review as I've got new No Funeral goodies cooking right now, plus I'm still doing tons of lab work. Essentially, I'm trying to use both brain hemispheres for separate tasks simultaneously. We'll see how long this balancing act lasts. Today's post is dedicated to the KEEF MASTER (thanks for the inspiration).

Destroy was a crust/grind/maniac band that was around from 1988-1994. Featuring noted punk-rock essayist and Havoc Records owner Felix Von Havoc on vocals, Destroy played a ripping, distorted blend of SIEGE, REPULSION, and BOLT THROWER. Burn This Racist System Down! has a sound comparable to the classic Earache bands, especially the early crust bands like HERESY and CONCRETE SOX.

Burn This Racist System Down! is also notable for being the release that launched HAVOC RECORDS. In the years since this EP's 1992 release, Havoc Records has stayed committed to putting out pure DIY hardcore and grind with notable releases by bands as varied as Fucked Up, Kylesa, Wolfbrigade, and the Regulations. Havoc, the man and the label, is a lifer and we're all better off for it.

Destroy is a testament to Vavoc's desire to produce timeless music. Check out the song "Crowd Control." That jam doesn't sound 20-years-old. By the way, did you know that Destroy once released a 7" on Relapse? Did you know that my personal copy of this 7" is on purple, marbled vinyl; indicative of the third pressing? Life's wacky like that. Check out this brutal hate.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

Moby - Play


This one is going to be a quick-hit today. For the past couple of weeks, I've posted some "fun" music that is decidedly not brutal. There's a coming wave of super-heavy music about to be posted to this website and I agree with the old METALLICA theory that the quieter stuff makes the heavy stuff heavier. With that in mind, I'm wrapping up this string of non-brutal music updates with a classic; Play by Moby.

Play is the $5 Foot-Long of music. You've heard it before and there are no surprises but there are no failures either. Moby made a classic EDM record by trying not to sound like it was recorded on the U.S.S. Enterprise. Many of the individual instrumental tracks were recorded by Moby himself and everything that was programmed had a real-world sound in mind. This is techno for people that don't eat molly everyday. Is it the most underground or kvlt or whatever release of all-time? Absolutely not. Every song on the record was licensed for TV comercials at one point. While you can knock Play for being too mainstream, you can't knock it musically. Take a listen for yourself and find out exactly how comfortable this record sounds.


Thursday, October 17, 2013

Garry Bean - Aren't Our Lives Happening Right Now?

Garry Bean
Aren't Our Lives Happening Right Now?

I was contacted by Mr. Bean (ha!) about the new EP he's releasing this month and he wanted to know if I would review it. I listened to it and replied that I would but this is not the typical record that I nor the No Funeral readers would normally jam. I don't bring this up to be a name-dropping d-bag (Do any of you really care that I know the singer of Blue October?). I bring it up because the central tenet of No Funeral has always been to find "what is good" and not necessarily "what I like." There's a difference between the two.

Yorkshire, England's own Garry Bean plays beautiful acoustic-guitar ballads with a folk bent. His music sounds familiar while, at the same time, it does not fit into any neat, little category. From what I gather, Bean has been playing "professionally" for about a year.

The first and most obvious comparison would be to the late, great ELLIOT SMITH. I suppose another would be JAMES TAYLOR. I hear similar vocals and melodies to those of Austin's own CHRISTOPHER CROSS. I also hear shades of the legendary Manchester bands in the context of the solemn, I'm-coming-down-off-of-drugs-at-6:00a.m. parts those bands tended to produce. Based on that alone, Travis and the Buddyhead Weirdos will probably love it. Exhibit A: Garry Bean's digital single "With Handfuls of Dust and Broken Stone" b/w "Fear Walks With You". Check it out below. Click on the link for a free (official) download:

See what I mean? This is not the typical No Funeral fare.

I guess what I would consider a downside to Bean's music would be nothing but a positive to most people: His music is made for movie and TV soundtracks. I really hope that "Hollywood" doesn't fall in love with him. Bean's songs would greatly benefit from the "Wes Anderson treatment" that the afore-mentioned Elliot Smith received. I shudder to think that "Northern Town" would get played over the closing credits of Grey's Anatomy. Can we all make a pledge, right here, to never let that happen?

Bean's music is very polished, in a good way. It's not studio tricks. It's working those songs until they're "ready." What does "ready" mean? I'm not sure but, whatever it is, Garry Bean figure it out.

You may not dig it but the "normals" will love it. Assuming that you're not dating some beastly, Redwood-like Slipkot fan, your girl is going to love this record. It's the kind of jam that you listen to when you're smoking a cigarette on the balcony of your room at the Holiday Inn when your three-day-long coke binge is winding down and you realize, "Oh shit! I've got work tomorrow!" Then again, maybe that's just me.


T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. - Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay

Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay
408 Grind

Coming at ya' straight outta San Jose are the homies in T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. Before we go any further, let's get this "name" thing out of the way. It's the abbreviated form of saying These Are Da Results Of A'thousand Electric Volts; and, yes, it is a line from an old Eminem song.

T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. plays breakneck, crack-smoke, 1000mph, hood-flavored grind/violence. The band sounds like EXCRUCIATING TERROR and similar West Coast grind squads but it also has a sound similar to what the power violence bands in San Antonio and Houston are doing. There's more than a passing resemblance to PRETTY LITTLE FLOWER. On paper, it's an old formula but it sounds fresh in reality. Go to T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V.'s Soundcloud page to hear Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay in its entirety.

Here's T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. tearing up the East Bay.

I've been keeping an eye out ever since I've heard of this band for any Austin tour dates. To my knowledge, T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. never played Texas (I could be mistaken on this). Then I read on the band's Facebook page that it played its last show in April. Man, I hope this is not true. I'll let you know when I find out for sure. In the meantime, let's drag these guys to Austin. They were meant to play at 1808 or Trailer Space.


Meth Drinker - partial discography

Some people say that they've heard it all and that everything has been done already. Those people are wrong. Other folks will tell you that there aren't any new bands worth jamming. Those people are also wrong. There are plenty of new bands doing exciting things and METH DRINKER is Exhibit A.

Formed in 2010 and hailing from Wellington, New Zealand, Meth Drinker plays soul-crushing, sludge-ridden doom. This is absolutely panicky, desperate, grief-stricken music for people already on the edge who need a little nudge over the side. This is dreadful shit; not because it's bad but because it inspires dread.

Want a taste? Here's the official video for the song "731" off of Meth Drinker's split 12" with OPEN TOMB:

Harsh, huh?

I suppose the obvious and immediate comparison that Meth Drinker draws is to EYEHATEGOD. While I wouldn't deny that Meth Drinker is influenced by EyeHateGod, I don't hear that much of a direct comparison and EyeHateGod is an inspiration to all bands that play slow and destructive metal/punk like this. When I listen to Meth Drinker, I hear something far more murderous than EyeHateGod. EyeHateGod was too fogged by alcohol and drugs to be as precise and focused as Meth Drinker. Focused on what? Fulfilling that murder/suicide pact. There's only one way out of this...

What I love about Meth Drinker is an unhinged combination of some supremely evil sludge/doom/hate/nihilism bands: DYSTOPIA, THE ENDLESS BLOCKADE, GRIEF, and CORRUPTED. This is music for people who smoke angel dust at 10:00 a.m. Along with the uplifting aesthetics of the previously-mentioned sludge bands, Meth Drinker shares the same dead-world philosophy and aesthetics as DESPISE YOU and WORLD BURNS TO DEATH, even though Meth Drinker doesn't share their sounds.

Meth Drinker kicks total ass. As previously mentioned, this is a new band that is actually worth your valuable time, energy, and money. Check out the Meth Drinker Bandcamp page to hear a few songs off of each release.

So far, Meth Drinker has released a self-titled 7" and a self-titled LP. The band also released split 12" EPs with Open Tomb and MOLOCH. Good luck finding those in the states. Full U.S. tour now! In the meantime, the proper way to jam Meth Drinker is alone in the dark with a loaded gun in your lap.


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

LIVE REVIEW: Dying Fetus, Exhumed, etc...

Dying Fetus, Exhumed, Waking the Cadaver, Abiotic, and Flesh Hoarder
live @ Red7
10OCT13 in Austin, Texas

On one of those rare Thursday nights in Austin where it's not 110 degrees outside, I find myself weaving through traffic with Brandon Commando behind the wheel, desperately searching for one of the few remaining free parking spaces downtown. With a minimal loss of life and property, we found a spot about three blocks away from the club. Your overreaching municipal bureaucracy can't keep us down, man.

I'd never heard the first band of the evening. Over the years, I've found that it's when I'm unfamiliar with a band and have no expectations is when I'm floored by something new. Well, it happened again when FLESH HOARDER took the stage. The band can't decide if it's from San Antonio, Austin, or Maxwell but who cares? Flesh Hoarder plays ripping, blastastic death metal in the Cannibal Corpse/Suffocation vein. These Tex-Mex vatos totally kill it, musically speaking, but with song titles like "Infactuation with Menstruation", I'm betting that there's a lot to be desired in the lyric department. They have a demo CD that's making the rounds. Grab it and decide for yourself.

One-for-one so far for the evening. Usually, the local opener is an abysmal waste of time but not tonight. I actually got to see something impressive. I wish I could say the same for Florida's ABIOTIC. This band is living proof that chops alone do not a good band make. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are living proof of this hypothesis and Abiotic are a extension of the same logic. Yes, the band can play circles around most of its contemporaries but there's not an interesting song to be found in the setlist. What's more, Abiotic are fully devoid of any originality. The plagiarism is so blatant that not only did I immediately spot riffs lifted from Candiria, the Dillinger Escape Plan, and Cannibal Corpse but I also counted four separate riffs from The Faceless. This is a band that went through its collective record collection, cherry-picked the choice material, and glued it all together into a boring ball of mush. Utter trash. The singer wants you to know that there are products for sale over at the merch booth. The bass player was the best thing about this band. Watch for him to bounce out of Abiotic and join Coheed & Cambria (or someone of the like) shortly.

Here is the single that Abiotic's singer wouldn't stop yapping about.

Next up was WAKING THE CADAVER with a shipment of New Jersey's greatest cultural export: wigger slam metal. At what point did people start saying to themselves, "You know, I want to start a band that sounds exactly like Emmure."? When did that happen? Because it happened at least once, because I'm watching it bore me to tears. Yep, Waking The Cadaver is dead-set on riding that open-E chug all the way to Valhalla. You should listen to this band if you want to watch five people make Hatebreed look like John Coltrane. All of this said, "Life Lesson", Waking The Cadaver's closing song, was quite the epic jam. I think there's a good band in here somewhere, I just can't hear it yet. Plus, Waking The Cadaver was merely bad where Abiotic was genuinely offensive.

Although this was filmed in Philadelphia, it's an accurate depiction of the boredom thrust upon an unsuspecting Red7.

Now, with the cynical big-metal-label cash grabs out of the way, we can get down to the real bands. EXHUMED took the stage and set it ablaze with a proper mixture of gore/grind (a.k.a. sounding like Carcass) and Bay Area thrash and hardcore. It's not just the Carcass influence that makes Exhumed so interesting. I love how they incorporate the brutal West Coast sounds of Capitalist Casualties, Deadbodieseverywhere, No Less, Plutocracy, and the rest being incorporated into the death metal framework. It works. It rules. I also loved the maniac surgeon character who popped up throughout the set and I really enjoyed the Looney Tunes inspired skit of the lead guitarist. Check it out the next time Exhumed comes to your city.

In what should be no surprise to anyone, DYING FETUS stole the show. After all, it is the band's own headlining tour.

They took all the kids to school. They showed all the posers what time it was. They proved why they're one of Relapse's flagship bands. Can you believe that these guys once-upon-a-time released a CD on Wild Rags Records?

Dying Fetus mixes in enough moshcore into its style of technical death metal that its music appeals to nearly all. The crappy opening bands should note that Dying Fetus doesn't have to beg the crowd to start a circle pit or to crowd the front. Dying Fetus doesn't need to say anything. The band lets the music do the talking

Holy crap! Footage from the actual show at Red7!

...and more.

...and more.

...and more.

So, what have we learned? We learned that Mexicans from the 'hood can really nail that Cannibal Corpse-style, gory death metal. We learned that all the talent in the world is no cure from being a trend-hopping douchebag. We learned that reading is fucking dumb. Finally, we learned that Relapse should send its bands out in pairs more often.


Thursday, October 10, 2013

Fred Armisen's Guide to Music and SXSW 1998

You know him from Saturday Night Live and the five million movies he's been in, but this is the video that launched Fred Armisen to stardom and it was made on a goof.

For most of the 1990s, Armisen was the drummer for the arty Chicago hardcore band Trenchmouth. Trenchmouth was a real-deal band that did van tours and played crappy clubs, just like everyone else. The band even landed an opening gig on a Fugazi tour before signing with a major label and fizzling out by the end of the century.

Meanwhile, back in 1998, Armisen found himself in Austin with a few days off and not much to do. So he hit the streets with a video camera and unleashed a fury of Ali G/Borat/Bruno-style interviews years before that filmmaking style was really "a thing." This whole enterprise began as a time-wasting, goofy activity before the band's gig later that week. It ended with Armisen joining the SNL cast less than four years later.

If there are any lessons to be learned here, I suppose it's that what we all know as modern hipsterism is basically a bunch of dum-dums from the suburbs jocking Fred Armisen's style. It ain't his fault. Check out those "hipster glasses" Armisen is wearing. He was rocking those 15 years ago, while most of you were brutal nu-metal warriors and/or little kids.

Think about it.

Check out this video. It's the funniest thing you'll see all year.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

The Wasteland (vol. 3)

The latest in the "...and then this happened" file is the Misfits Ugg boot. Here ya go...

An angry mob of Houston Texans fans showed up at QB Matt Schaub's house to heckle and threaten him.

...Wait. No they didn't.

Stevie Wonder is a better drummer than you are.

...way better.

Mike Boone, the bass player from NC sludge band Sourvein, passed away on Sunday 6Oct13. Bummer...

Have you seen The Treehouse of Horrors credits for the new Simpsons season that were directed by Guillermo del Toro? Well, these weirdos in Germany from a website called Movie Pilot have annotated all the reference, Pop-Up Video style. Check it out here.

Britney Spears didn't like the Breaking Bad finale.

Neither did Oliver Stone.

In case you forgot, Bo Jackson still rules.

Later, weirdos.


Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Slayer's tour rider from Fun Fun Fun Fest

Here's a quick, fun post to brighten your Tuesday afternoon. Here is a picture of Slayer's ridiculous tour rider. Click on the image for a larger view. I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming that the obviously ridiculous items are jokes. Post your thoughts on the No Funeral funkbook page. Go see Slayer at this year's Fun Fun Fun Fest.


An Occulted History of The Haunted (at least concerning its touring history in Austin)

The Haunted
One Kill Wonder

One of the fringe benefits of living in Austin is the ability to absorb tons of supernatural/conspiracy talk radio shows; which I've been listening to copiously. I've even been on Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis twice within the last two weeks. All of this tin-foil-hat talk has left me contemplating the natural order of the world.

We, as the human race, may be better off if we shift our thinking to a four-dimensional frame of mind. The best way I can describe that is comparing it to the way that Dr. Manhattan from The Watchmen sees the world. He sees the entire existence of a person or an object from origin to extinction like those "evolution of man" timelines. We live in neither a linear nor temporary existence. All matter in the universe that will ever exist already does and it floats for eternity waiting to be reshaped and reformed time and time again.

I had a curious experience that echoes my hypothesis of humanity as bouncing atoms seeking harmony, and it stars Swedish death/thrash legends The Haunted. In the Spring of 2001, I saw a show at the old Backroom club on Riverside Drive that was one of those "Can you believe these guys all toured together?" experiences. It was called The Spring Neck Break Tour with Cannibal Corpse, Dimmu Borgir, The Haunted, and Lamb of God. Yep, that happened once and it was awesome.

Flash forward to 2003 and, this time, I get to see The Haunted headline the big room at the old Emo's with Bleeding Through, Shai Hulud, and Kataklysm opening. There was a huge crowd and a good time was had by all.

Then, over the course of the next decade, the atoms start bouncing. In 2004, The Haunted's rad singer left the band and its original ding-dong singer came back. Also in 2004, it appeared for a moment that Bleeding Through may win the Great Metalcore Sweepstakes of The Stars but, as we all know now, Lamb of God and Killswitch Engage ended up winning that war. Bleeding Through limped along and is playing its final tour this year.

The Backroom shuts down in 2006 and lies dormant for years. Austin enters boom-times unseen since The Great Tech Bubble. The Eastside gets gentrified. The East Riverside Corridor follows suit. The old Emo's on Sixth Street closes in the winter of 2011 but not before concocting an escape plan. The club's then-owner Frank Hendrix reportedly sank two million dollars into remodeling the old Backroom into, tah-dah, Emo's East a.k.a. the new Emo's.

...And, finally, The Haunted's rad singer Marco Aro returns to the band.

So, what did any of this have to do with the occult? Nothing really. This is the sort of area where your brain leads you when it's fed a steady diet of numerology, feng shui, reptilians, microwave weapons, crop circles, and endless CIA dirty tricks. Still, this shell-game of old Austin metal venues can't be a coincidence, can it? Either way, the music rules.


Monday, October 7, 2013

Eminem - Recovery


After having three seperate discussions about this record with three different people of the course of this past weekend, I figured that was a sign. On the eve of the release Slim Shady's new album, let's take a look back at what is likely his most misunderstood work.

Everyone has a goal. Everyone has a dream. Imagine if your dream came true. You won state. You're the CEO. You got that movie role. Whatever it is, it came true. Your on top of the world and the road to the bottom of the mountain is littered with the corpses of your competitors that couldn't make the impossible happen; unlike you.

You achieved everything but something is keeping you awake at night. Your baggage from your old life is still with you. Old habits remains. Old thinking remains. Old patterns remain. The pain of the past makes your achievements ring hollow...

Welcome to Marshall Mathers' life in 2010. His best friend gets murdered in Detroit, he can't stop doing drugs, and he released two consecutive bad records. It looks like everything is going to fall apart. He had to hit the pause button on his own life before God hit the eject button.

But it's not just his life; it's all of our lives. Sure, we don't have millions of dollars and no asks us for autographs but it's the same struggle. Recovery is Eminem's most honest work. He had to take a hard look at his life where it currently stood at the time and then he had to reconcile his reality with the mistakes of the past while desperately trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. It's not just his story. It's our story and he knows this.

Recovery is a powerful record where Eminem stared into the abyss and found the abyss staring back at him. If you or anyone you know has a substance abuse problem, please get help. Get help and do it today. If you don't know where to start, I recommend that you contact the Recovery Center of Huntsville. They have access to resource across the state and across the country. They can guide you to help in your own community.

Take another look at the cover photo. I appreciate the symbolism of the artwork. Let's all take a bit of inspiration from it. We're all going to make that long, lonely walk down 8 Mile Road but we're going to do it together.


Thursday, October 3, 2013

Cypress Hill - Greatest Hits from the Bong

This is it. This is the last of the old stuff. This record should need the least introduction of them all. If you don't know Cypress Hill, I don't think there's any help for you.

Columbia Records threw a fit about this being posted a few years back. That's why the original post was taken down (FYI: check out the original post date). With that in mind, I did something a little different this time. Considering how this is Cypress Hill's greatest hits album, I found a file (thank you, Dome Lemone) that contains the videos from all the songs. Some of them are censored versions, which I don't dig, but now you're getting your money's worth out of that smartphone.

Cypress Hill
Greatest Hits from the Bong

It's Cypress fucking Hill, y'all. Happy 4/20. In case you went into a coma around the summer of 1990 and just came out of it this morning, Cypress Hill is one of the greatest rap bands ever. Damn near every song is about smoking bud, they write and play live as a band and they are the kings of West Coast Hip-hop. Like this really needs an introduction. Now sing their songs and puff all night long, as we all take hits from the bong.

EDIT: This one goes out to DC the Medic. Click on the comments for punchline (if necessary).


The Wasteland (Vol. 2)

Between Obamacare, the NSA spying scandal, unrest in the Middle East, Wall Street's financial house of cards, and another season of The Voice, things are looking grim here in the land of opportunity. Then, just when you think it can't get any worse, this happens...

Yep. That really happened. Steve Aoki, the man who elevated selling out to an art form, teamed up with everyone's favorite mall rockers Linkin Park to show how much they wub(step) you. Did you know that Aoki's dad owns the Benihana chain of restaurants? I first heard of this moron through his terrible hardcore band This Machine Kills. I guess you've got to play the part when you're getting your women's studies degree from UCSB. So much for sticking it to the man, eh Steve?
...But then it gets worse.

I really, really dig Lorde. I love what I've heard of the Pure Heroine album. Lorde reminds me of Edie Brickell, which is nothing but a good thing. I even posted the "Royals" video last week. However, we live in a world where the typical hipster shithead would much rather ride the coattails of someone else's success than to even attempt anything original. Attempt? Attempting anything requires effort and the American Hipster ain't going down that road. So what we end up with is garbage like the video posted above. I have no clue who the Pentatonix are but I'll gladly support any effort to lock them in a cage in Gitmo. Do not search YouTube for "Lorde 'Royals' cover" unless you're prepared to cry yourself to sleep.

...But it's not all despair, is it? No, delusion and hysteria still have their places in American life; like this unintentionally hilarious article from The Daily Caller. That logic is stretched tighter than Mickey Rourke's facelift.

Speaking of unintentionally hilarious, I didn't know that Red Bull was in the comedy business.

Speaking of delusional, check out the video for "Rage" by Angel Du$t...

I don't care what Justice Tripp says, this song blows. Dudes who heard U.S. Bombs for the first time last week are stoked.

If the Austin Police don't kill your dog, then they'll probably just shoot in the back of the neck.

One last serious thought: the death penalty is bullshit. Do something about it. I do. Your first step should be to contact these people. They'll get you pointed in the right direction.

...And this week's big finish comes courtesy of Rocky Reidel. Let's take'em all the way back...


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Pig Destroyer – Terrifyer

Yo. Here's more old hate from back in the day. I stand by this review (so does my brother) and nothing else needs to be said about the now-classic record. If you don't own a physical copy of Terrifyer (on vinyl, CD, cassette; whatever you've got), then you can go ahead and consider yourself a massive lame-o. What are you even doing on this website? I'm sure that your local Mix 96 station is playing Taylor Swift right now. That's probably more your speed.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. For as much as I love Terrifyer, I have to honestly say that my favorite Pig Destroyer record is Phantom Limb. Of course, Book Burner rules just as much. Maybe Pig Destroyer is becoming one of those bands like Metallica or Converge, where everyone seemingly has a different favorite record of the same band. Where do you stand on this? Post your thoughts on the No Funeral funkbook page.

Pig Destroyer

The common perception among the metal masses is that Prowler in the Yard is Pig Destroyer’s most brutal hate. I, along with fellow No Funeral critic DC the Medic, believe that Terrifyer is the actual hate. The reality of the situation is that all the Pig Destroyer material is pure hate and that Terrifyer is every bit as good as Prowler in the Yard. These thrash-influenced grind-meisters have continually turned heavy music on its side throughout their existence. They get brutal like no other (except for Insect Warfare) and Terrifyer is beginning-to-end intense.

Only Terrifyer has been post below. Although this review covers only the Terrifyer LP, my copy was the two-disc version that included the Natasha DVD. I was upset by Relapse’s initial treatment of Natasha as a mere add-on, but Relapse finally gave it a proper LP/CD release last year. Natasha will be posted as its own review in the future (next month?) as I believe it’s a work that should be evaluated on its own.

Compared to the other Pig Destroyer albums, Terrifyer has the most noticeable thrash influence. This is thrash in the vein of Dark Angel, not Municipal Waste. It adds an exciting new element to the band’s sound. Voraciously recommended.