Each day at work, I have the opportunity (and the time) to read several different newspapers. These papers, specifically USA Today and the Houston Chronicle, along with a disturbing amount of internet chatter, would have you believe that Twitter is the most important development in human history since the polio vaccine. While Twitter does serve a useful purpose, I invite the entirety of mankind to chill out over Twitter's perceived importance.
When I say that Twitter has a useful purpose, I mean that it has a lone, solitary, single useful purpose. The only reason you should ever use Twitter is to provide updates and URL links to whatever band/website/comic book/fetish porn/etc... that you really do with your time. Using Twitter to provide insights into your life is beyond lame. It's boner-crushing lameness on the level of Coheed & Cambria.
Before proceeding, I must admit that I'm a tad hypocritical in this regard. I have and use a Twitter account for the No Funeral blog. I use it as an alert mechanism when something new is posted on this site. Yes, I occasionally post a playlist, respond to another Twitter user, or simply write some nonsense. However, 99% of my "tweets" pertain to this website.
My gripe about Twitter-as-information-consolidator is twofold. The first, most obvious problem is that you're limited to 140 characters. This isn't enough space for a cogent thought, much less a simple paragraph. It's enough space to post the link to your real content and should be used for this purpose. Twitter is a poor forum for self-expression.
Which brings me to my second gripe with Twitter -- no one on Twitter is that interesting; myself included. At least with my Twitter account you're getting the links to rocking, free music. Twitter is especially guilty of perpetuating the fascination with celebrity culture and those folks tend to be the least interesting of all.Don't believe me? Check out the sub-literate musing of T.O., or the hyper-commercialized, crushing depression that is Jamey Jasta's Twitter page.
Twitter, aside from its ONE useful purpose, is another sign of dumbing-down of America, in addition to the coming apocalypse. 140 characters, my ass.
In honor of Twitter and in remembrance of America's dignity, I present Your Chaos Days Are Numbered by the almighty Hellnation. This album is for those who like their thrashy hardcore the way God intended: short, fast, and loud. Not a song over 140 seconds!
Your Chaos Days Are Numbered
Hellnation - Your Chaos Days Are Numbered
1 year ago