Thursday, November 14, 2013

Ghost BC - If You Have Ghost

Ghost BC
If You Have Ghost
Loma Vista

I'm still a firm believer that Sweden is the only country that can out-metal the U.S.A. The "best governed country on the planet", according to The Economist, has produced such musically brutal luminaries as Entombed, Meshuggah, In Flames, Amon Amarth, Arch Enemy, HammerFall, Dark Tranquillity, Opeth, Dismember, and the singular force of nature known as Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Having such high regard for the nation of Sweden and its legacy of brutality, it's with a heavy heart that I must report that the worst metal band ever thrust upon humanity has released a new record.

Yep, Papa-New-Ghostie And The Ghostly Ghosts have released a cover-song EP on an unsuspecting public like so much Sarin gas in a Tokyo subway. Dave Grohl produced this piece of garbage, but he constantly gets talked into participating in questionable projects so you can't blame this on him. This atrocity can only be blamed on the band.

So, Hipster Slipknot decided to highlight some alleged influences. To be fair, a significant number of metal and hardcore bands have taken influence from Depeche Mode over the years but those bands, like In Flames and Dimmu Borgir, put their own heavy spin on it. Ghost B.C. has managed to make "Waiting for the Night" sound even wimpier than the original. Roky Erickson, ABBA, and Army of Lovers, along with Depeche Mode, get the Ghost B.C.-lite-rock treatment and this 20-minute-long sleeping pill is capped with a live version of Ghost B.C.'s song "Secular Haze."

My problem with Posey The Friendly Ghosts is the same problem I've had since Opus Eponymous was released: this band ain't heavy. Ghost is barely rock music and is certainly not heavy metal. Heavy metal is meant to be heavy but Ghost B.C. is determined to make Bon Jovi sound like Marduk. The record and this band are both pure rubbish and should be thrown into the sun.

However, I know you're not going to listen to me. You're not going to let things like Ghost B.C. being comprised of the former members of Repugnant get in the way of enjoying the hot buzz band of the moment. After all, the members of Repugnant didn't wear fancy robes, did they? Also, there's nothing more brutal than signing with a record company based out of Beverly Hills. Also-also, there's nothing more brutal than opening for Avenged Sevenfold in every NBA arena on the continent. If You Have Ghost is highly recommended for the superficial and those who can't get past the imagery.

Listen to the full-album stream here. Check out the lead single (the Roky Erickson cover) below:


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