Videodrome (II) - The Philadelphia Experiment

This edition of Videodrome is inspired by Crucial Chris, who passed along this video of comedian Bill Burr eviscerating the entire city of Philadelphia. This is the perfect opportunity to take a look back at some of Philly's greatest hits. That city is genuinely unique, for good and bad. It can't be all bad. This is the city that produced the Bloodhound Gang and Relapse Records, plus Mr. Bill Cosby. You be the judge.

Bill Burr (Chappelle's Show, Breaking Bad) torches Philadelphia.



Philadelphia Eagles fans boo Santa Claus and pelt him with snowballs.



Eagles fans cheer Michael Irvin's neck injury.



Eagles fans heckle Giants fan at stadium.



Phillies fans boo the shit out of JD Drew (they would later throw batteries at him).



Flyers fans boo Sarah Palin (okay, that's not that bad).



76ers fans cheer Joakim Noah's ankle injury.



Suspect shoots up Philadelphia strip club with AK-47 after scuffle with bouncers.



Philadelphia muslims protest those wearing burkas in order to commit robberies.



Documentary about the Bruno Crime Family based out of (wait for it) Philadelphia.




I could keep going like this all day but you get the idea. Consult your search engine of choice for further information.






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Toxic Holocaust - Chemistry of Consciousness

This review originally appeared in local alt-weekly paper ROCKSTAR vol. 1, issue 4; available now all over Central Texas. Pick up at copy at a record store, head shop, tattoo parlor, skate shop, or whatever the next time you're down.


Toxic Holocaust
Chemistry of Consciousness
Relapse

Joel Grind is at it again. The prolific mastermind behind Toxic Holocaust has been mixing classic 80s thrash (think Exodus and early Slayer) with the crusty English d-beat sound (Doom, Discharge, English Dogs, etc...) since 1999. On Toxic Holocaust's fifth LP Chemistry of Consciousness, Joel Grind achieves the impossible. His music is evolving without losing any of the rage and angst of the early work. Sometimes it's one or the other. Usually it's neither, so this is a rare case.

For those already familiar with Toxic Holocaust, Chemistry of Consciousness is more of the same, only bigger and better. The new record echoes the greatness of past works like Evil Never Dies or Hell On Earth but without sounding like a retread. I chalk up the difference to Joel Grind actually performing and recording with a permanent rhythm section. Check out the song "Rat Eater" for an example of what I'm saying.

For the uninitiated, think of Toxic Holocaust as similar to Municipal Waste but less party-centric and far more concerned with the fall of mankind. The punk influence is stronger in Toxic Holocaust than it is with the majority of new-school thrash bands. What separates them from the pack is those driving, d-beat rhythms (similar to Tragedy, His Hero Is Gone, and From Ashes Rise) laying the foundation for riffs that would make Testament drool.

Toxic Holocaust is currently touring the Northeast with Ramming Speed and In Defence, so no Texas dates are on the books for now. However, I'd take the Vegas odds that the band will be here in time for that festival thing that happens here every year during Spring Break. If you saw the 2012 Chaos In Tejas show with Midnight, then you know how neck-breakingly awesome Toxic Holocaust's live show is. My advice is to buy a copy of Chemistry of Consciousness and then to patiently wait outside of Red7 for the band to arrive.







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Ghost BC - If You Have Ghost

Ghost BC
If You Have Ghost
Loma Vista

I'm still a firm believer that Sweden is the only country that can out-metal the U.S.A. The "best governed country on the planet", according to The Economist, has produced such musically brutal luminaries as Entombed, Meshuggah, In Flames, Amon Amarth, Arch Enemy, HammerFall, Dark Tranquillity, Opeth, Dismember, and the singular force of nature known as Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Having such high regard for the nation of Sweden and its legacy of brutality, it's with a heavy heart that I must report that the worst metal band ever thrust upon humanity has released a new record.

Yep, Papa-New-Ghostie And The Ghostly Ghosts have released a cover-song EP on an unsuspecting public like so much Sarin gas in a Tokyo subway. Dave Grohl produced this piece of garbage, but he constantly gets talked into participating in questionable projects so you can't blame this on him. This atrocity can only be blamed on the band.

So, Hipster Slipknot decided to highlight some alleged influences. To be fair, a significant number of metal and hardcore bands have taken influence from Depeche Mode over the years but those bands, like In Flames and Dimmu Borgir, put their own heavy spin on it. Ghost B.C. has managed to make "Waiting for the Night" sound even wimpier than the original. Roky Erickson, ABBA, and Army of Lovers, along with Depeche Mode, get the Ghost B.C.-lite-rock treatment and this 20-minute-long sleeping pill is capped with a live version of Ghost B.C.'s song "Secular Haze."

My problem with Posey The Friendly Ghosts is the same problem I've had since Opus Eponymous was released: this band ain't heavy. Ghost is barely rock music and is certainly not heavy metal. Heavy metal is meant to be heavy but Ghost B.C. is determined to make Bon Jovi sound like Marduk. The record and this band are both pure rubbish and should be thrown into the sun.

However, I know you're not going to listen to me. You're not going to let things like Ghost B.C. being comprised of the former members of Repugnant get in the way of enjoying the hot buzz band of the moment. After all, the members of Repugnant didn't wear fancy robes, did they? Also, there's nothing more brutal than signing with a record company based out of Beverly Hills. Also-also, there's nothing more brutal than opening for Avenged Sevenfold in every NBA arena on the continent. If You Have Ghost is highly recommended for the superficial and those who can't get past the imagery.

Listen to the full-album stream here. Check out the lead single (the Roky Erickson cover) below:







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Carcass - Surgical Steel

Carcass
Surgical Steel
Nuclear Blast

It's finally here, the first new Carcass album since 1996's aptly titled Swansong. Already legends in the grindcore and melodic death metal scenes. Carcass is one of the rare bands (along with At The Gates) that got more popular after they broke up. Pretty much since the Winter of 1996, the metal public has been demanding that Carcass reunite. After 16 years, three presidencies, three pointless wars, and 27 fully-unnecessary seasons of Survivor, it's finally here. The vinyl has been shipped and Surgical Steel has landed on the shelf of your favorite record store.

So, how does it sound?

For those holding out hope for a return to the Symphonies of Sickness/Reek of Putrefaction style of gore-grind, it pains me to tell you that you'll be disappointed. For everyone else on the planet, Surgical Steel is without a doubt the album of the year.

If Surgical Steel sounds like any of the old stuff, it most closely sounds like Necroticism. For the uninitiated, this 1992 album marks the change in the Carcass sound from gore-grind to melodic death metal. Necroticism, along with Slaughter of the Soul, was the playbook for the American metalcore movement of the early 2000s.

Surgical Steel does pick up where Necroticism and Heartwork left off but, more importantly, the new record sounds fresh. The stench of desperation doesn't cling to this reunion unlike so many of the others (have you heard that new Orgy? Yikes...). Unlike the other reunions, the public actually has a thirst for new Carcass music and Carcass has something to prove.

What tore apart the band during its initial run was record label politics and typical showbiz crap. Plus, at a time in the mid-90s when death metal was a watered-down shell of itself (it's since recovered), founding members Jeff Walker and Bill Steer wanted to play other styles of music. Now, Carcass has unfinished business. In a recent interview, Steer said that Surgical Steel was written with heavy emphasis placed on writing strong riffs. This is to counteract the newer bands that play rhythms more than they play riffs (think the Acacia Strain).

Unfortunately, original drummer Ken Owen, who suffered a brain hemorrhage in 1999, is physically unable to continue as a full-time member. In his place is Daniel Wilding (ex-Aborted, ex-Trigger The Bloodshed) with guitarist Ben Ash replacing Michael Amott, who is busy being the head honcho of Arch Enemy. The point of all of this is that Carcass is back and Surgical Steel marks another new chapter in the history of this band.

This is the necessary reunion. Now we just need someone to get Phil and Vinnie talking again and then we've got a stew going, baby.







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Protest The Hero - Volition

This was written two weeks ago and was scheduled to appear on another website. However, that editor can not be reached and I suspect that said website/publication may not be in business much longer. Fortunately, No Funeral is up and running so you can jam the new Protest The Hero at your leisure. Moral of the story: This is why you stay DIY. Enjoy!


Protest The Hero
Volition
self-released (sort of (not really))

Here's the new album from Ontario's prog/tech/core/scene-sweethearts Protest The Hero. Volition is the end result of a tumultuous year for the band. Back in January, Protest The Hero came to its senses and left Vagrant Records. This was followed by the announcement of an indiegogo.com fundraising campaign to record and release the new LP. The band asked for $125K and received over $340K. Normally, I ridicule and taunt those beggars using crowd-funding to extend their 15 minutes of fame but when the funds are double of the fundraising goal, there's clearly pent-up market demand (and all that jazz).

But Protest The Hero had another problem. In June, drummer and founding member Moe Carlson bounced out of the band to go back to school. The band stayed on scheduled and got (of all freaking people) Chris Adler from Lamb of God to fill in during recording. After absorbing some pretty serious blows, things were starting to look good for Protest The Hero; but then the record leaked.

Scheduled for release on October 29, 2013, Volition is being rushed to stores by semi-major label Razor & Tie in order to combat the leak. Now, if you take the MRR/hardline approach, Volition can not be called a DIY release. This is true but it's also not the point. The point is for the record to be released without the corrosive fingerprints of the scam artists know as Vagrant Records smeared all over it.

This is all terrific news for the bean counters, but how does the record sound?

In a word, it sounds terrific. I never really dug Protest The Hero. I once reviewed the band's Fortress album for another website and I certainly didn't dig it back then. Their old stuff sounded like Coheed And Cambria with slightly more testosterone. But things change and here we are, faced possibly with the metal album of the year.

Volition can't be summed with its influences because the album is all over the place as far as style and genre are concerned. Plus the album fulfills its goal of being genuinely unique. It's a whirlwind blend of prog-rock, technical death metal, and non-brainless metalcore from the early 2000s with damn-near falsettos on top of the whole thing. Imagine an alternate-universe version of At The Drive-In that is obsessed Opeth and Starkweather.

As someone who is chasing originality with my heaviness, I'm happy to report that I've hit the jackpot. All preconceived notions of this band should be abandoned immediately. Not into metal? This is the perfect place to start. Highly recommended for the literate and for audio bravehearts.







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Trap Them - Seizures In Barren Praise

Trap Them
Seizures In Barren Praise
Deathwish Inc.

I'd like to issue a brief update about the goings-on at SRLCO Laboratories (for those not hip to the lingo, SRLCO is the SketchTown/Roughdale Laboratory Cooperative a.k.a. the studio space for the Deep River Massive). Anyway, before I bog this thing down with inside jokes meant for six people, here's what's on deck for the next two weeks: a review of the new Protest The Hero album for Buddyhead, a review of the new Toxic Holocaust for No Control, a review of the Watain show at Red7 (show's tonight BTW), the debut of Late Night Sneaky Uncle by Goo Fish, a preview of Fun Fun Fun Fest for a yet-to-be-determined website, and tons more. The No Funeral train is rolling. Tell your friends.

With that said, today's post was a flimsy pretext to post a fresh copy of Trap Them's already-legendary second LP Seizures In Barren Praise. Here's what I had to say about the record in my Best of 2008 column:

Trap Them has never heard of the sophomore slump and Seizures in Barren Praise has reached a new level of ferocity with their second LP. It’s the heaviness of Swedish death metal with the bleak prospects of American crust. Grim shit, indeed. Maybe it is Entombed for the new-school, but who cares? Prepare to be killed.

This album still sounds fresh and, for my money, Trap Them are America's best metal/grind/death/ignorant band. Click below and judge for yourself.







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Seeker - Unloved

Seeker
Unloved
Victory

Unloved is the debut LP from the Lone Star State's latest "next big thing", D/FW's own Seeker. The band clawed its way out of the club scene, annihilating audiences at The White Rabbit, Walter's, The Dirty Dog, and other Texas music venues; but now, with Victory's backing, Seeker is ready blast the new jams to the throngs of new fans pouring into such legendary clubs as The White Rabbit, Walter's, and The Dirty Dog.

But enough about that. What's going on with this record?

Simply put, Unloved is a mixed bag. I suppose the motif of the album could be described as DL from THE ACACIA STRAIN playing lead guitar for REMEMBERING NEVER. More than the overpowering mosh attack, Unloved is dripping with an undeniable influence of Calculating Infinity-era DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN. The best songs on the record, such as "Dominance" have the fewest Dillinger-isms about them.

Unloved is a solid debut from a band trying to navigate a difficult music business. I suppose my only genuine complaint is that this record so immediately and unmistakably sounds like the works of other bands that it distracts from any band-voice that Seeker can construct. Any momentum the band builds gets derailed when that riff from that Remembering Never song. If you like this style of amelodic metalcore, there are other bands (XIBALBA, LAST TEN SECONDS OF LIFE, etc...) that play this exact same style much better. Unloved sounds great and is an enjoyable listen but I'm not sure if anyone will be jamming this five years from now. I look forward to Seeker eventually producing a great work of art in the future. Unfortunately, this ain't it.

Hey, at least they didn't rip off The Faceless.


Here's the video for the title track:



Here's the video for "When Hope Fails":



Here's where things get tricky. Victory Records is hosting a full-album stream of Unloved but only for the next 24 hours. Click here to jam the new Seeker LP. You've got until Tuesday night (29Oct13).




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New Impending Doom song - "Ravenous Disease"

Impending Doom premiered another new song today and I'd like to share it with you. You know why? Because Impending Doom is the rare band that's actually getting better as it goes along.

In an age where most bands simply regurgitate whatever their "breakthrough hits" are, Impending Doom continues to refine it's "gorship" sound. Remember, "gorship" is what Impending Doom calls their brand of gory, doomy, nu-metally death/grind with lyrics that reflect the band members' Christian beliefs. The band has hit one of those streaks where each new release blows away the old stuff and Death Will Reign is no different. I've been a fan of Impending Doom for years and have had nothing but positive things to say about the band. Anyway, less talk and more rock. Here's "Ravenous Disease."





Pretty cool, huh? Well, check this out. "Ravenous Disease" is the second song from Death Will Reign to be debuted so far. Listen to the title track.





Awesome stuff. Good band gets better. Touring and all that jazz soon. Go get the record on November 5, 2013.




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Videodrome (I)

If it feels like the last week's worth of posts have all been "quick hits", it's because they have. Like I said yesterday, big things are cooking in the SRLCO Laboratory but the No Funeral train keeps on rolling. This marks the beginning of another new column titled Videodrome which is exactly what it sounds like. This is a collection of brutal, trill, and ignorant video clips with news and notes throw in the mix. Got a video that the world needs to see? Send is to nofuneralatx@gmail.com. Now, on with the show...

Two people got stabbed during Broken Hope's set in El Paso last night. The band is currently on tour with Deicide. Details of the attack have been sparse, although the members of Broken Hope reported that one of the victims had his throat cut with a boxcutter. You better believe that No Funeral will continue to follow this story. Below is Broken Hope's entire set from 5Oct13 in Delaware.



Now on to happier things, like one of the coolest music videos I've ever seen. Long-running straightedge band Down To Nothing got very creative with a small budget and came up with a winner. Check it out:



Speaking of cool, there's nothing particularly special about this next video (typical MTV fare) but, man, what a song! You should know this one already...



I wonder if Ol' Dirty Bastard still has coke in his shoe. You know? A send-off thing, kind of like GG Allin's funeral. Think about it.



Since we've already "got dirty" once, why stop now?



We kept it dirty. Now it's time to keep it real.



...really real.



How much reality can you take?



...annnnnd close with a little silliness.






See you next week.

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Destroy - Burn This Racist System Down!

Destroy
Burn This Racist System Down!
Havoc

This will be another brief review as I've got new No Funeral goodies cooking right now, plus I'm still doing tons of lab work. Essentially, I'm trying to use both brain hemispheres for separate tasks simultaneously. We'll see how long this balancing act lasts. Today's post is dedicated to the KEEF MASTER (thanks for the inspiration).

Destroy was a crust/grind/maniac band that was around from 1988-1994. Featuring noted punk-rock essayist and Havoc Records owner Felix Von Havoc on vocals, Destroy played a ripping, distorted blend of SIEGE, REPULSION, and BOLT THROWER. Burn This Racist System Down! has a sound comparable to the classic Earache bands, especially the early crust bands like HERESY and CONCRETE SOX.

Burn This Racist System Down! is also notable for being the release that launched HAVOC RECORDS. In the years since this EP's 1992 release, Havoc Records has stayed committed to putting out pure DIY hardcore and grind with notable releases by bands as varied as Fucked Up, Kylesa, Wolfbrigade, and the Regulations. Havoc, the man and the label, is a lifer and we're all better off for it.

Destroy is a testament to Vavoc's desire to produce timeless music. Check out the song "Crowd Control." That jam doesn't sound 20-years-old. By the way, did you know that Destroy once released a 7" on Relapse? Did you know that my personal copy of this 7" is on purple, marbled vinyl; indicative of the third pressing? Life's wacky like that. Check out this brutal hate.






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Moby - Play

Moby
Play
V2

This one is going to be a quick-hit today. For the past couple of weeks, I've posted some "fun" music that is decidedly not brutal. There's a coming wave of super-heavy music about to be posted to this website and I agree with the old METALLICA theory that the quieter stuff makes the heavy stuff heavier. With that in mind, I'm wrapping up this string of non-brutal music updates with a classic; Play by Moby.

Play is the $5 Foot-Long of music. You've heard it before and there are no surprises but there are no failures either. Moby made a classic EDM record by trying not to sound like it was recorded on the U.S.S. Enterprise. Many of the individual instrumental tracks were recorded by Moby himself and everything that was programmed had a real-world sound in mind. This is techno for people that don't eat molly everyday. Is it the most underground or kvlt or whatever release of all-time? Absolutely not. Every song on the record was licensed for TV comercials at one point. While you can knock Play for being too mainstream, you can't knock it musically. Take a listen for yourself and find out exactly how comfortable this record sounds.







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Garry Bean - Aren't Our Lives Happening Right Now?

Garry Bean
Aren't Our Lives Happening Right Now?
self-released

I was contacted by Mr. Bean (ha!) about the new EP he's releasing this month and he wanted to know if I would review it. I listened to it and replied that I would but this is not the typical record that I nor the No Funeral readers would normally jam. I don't bring this up to be a name-dropping d-bag (Do any of you really care that I know the singer of Blue October?). I bring it up because the central tenet of No Funeral has always been to find "what is good" and not necessarily "what I like." There's a difference between the two.

Yorkshire, England's own Garry Bean plays beautiful acoustic-guitar ballads with a folk bent. His music sounds familiar while, at the same time, it does not fit into any neat, little category. From what I gather, Bean has been playing "professionally" for about a year.

The first and most obvious comparison would be to the late, great ELLIOT SMITH. I suppose another would be JAMES TAYLOR. I hear similar vocals and melodies to those of Austin's own CHRISTOPHER CROSS. I also hear shades of the legendary Manchester bands in the context of the solemn, I'm-coming-down-off-of-drugs-at-6:00a.m. parts those bands tended to produce. Based on that alone, Travis and the Buddyhead Weirdos will probably love it. Exhibit A: Garry Bean's digital single "With Handfuls of Dust and Broken Stone" b/w "Fear Walks With You". Check it out below. Click on the link for a free (official) download:




See what I mean? This is not the typical No Funeral fare.

I guess what I would consider a downside to Bean's music would be nothing but a positive to most people: His music is made for movie and TV soundtracks. I really hope that "Hollywood" doesn't fall in love with him. Bean's songs would greatly benefit from the "Wes Anderson treatment" that the afore-mentioned Elliot Smith received. I shudder to think that "Northern Town" would get played over the closing credits of Grey's Anatomy. Can we all make a pledge, right here, to never let that happen?





Bean's music is very polished, in a good way. It's not studio tricks. It's working those songs until they're "ready." What does "ready" mean? I'm not sure but, whatever it is, Garry Bean figure it out.

You may not dig it but the "normals" will love it. Assuming that you're not dating some beastly, Redwood-like Slipkot fan, your girl is going to love this record. It's the kind of jam that you listen to when you're smoking a cigarette on the balcony of your room at the Holiday Inn when your three-day-long coke binge is winding down and you realize, "Oh shit! I've got work tomorrow!" Then again, maybe that's just me.







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T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. - Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay

T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V.
Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay
408 Grind

Coming at ya' straight outta San Jose are the homies in T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. Before we go any further, let's get this "name" thing out of the way. It's the abbreviated form of saying These Are Da Results Of A'thousand Electric Volts; and, yes, it is a line from an old Eminem song.

T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. plays breakneck, crack-smoke, 1000mph, hood-flavored grind/violence. The band sounds like EXCRUCIATING TERROR and similar West Coast grind squads but it also has a sound similar to what the power violence bands in San Antonio and Houston are doing. There's more than a passing resemblance to PRETTY LITTLE FLOWER. On paper, it's an old formula but it sounds fresh in reality. Go to T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V.'s Soundcloud page to hear Fuck, Blast, Kill Da' Bay in its entirety.


Here's T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. tearing up the East Bay.


I've been keeping an eye out ever since I've heard of this band for any Austin tour dates. To my knowledge, T.A.D.R.O.A.E.V. never played Texas (I could be mistaken on this). Then I read on the band's Facebook page that it played its last show in April. Man, I hope this is not true. I'll let you know when I find out for sure. In the meantime, let's drag these guys to Austin. They were meant to play at 1808 or Trailer Space.






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Meth Drinker - partial discography

Some people say that they've heard it all and that everything has been done already. Those people are wrong. Other folks will tell you that there aren't any new bands worth jamming. Those people are also wrong. There are plenty of new bands doing exciting things and METH DRINKER is Exhibit A.

Formed in 2010 and hailing from Wellington, New Zealand, Meth Drinker plays soul-crushing, sludge-ridden doom. This is absolutely panicky, desperate, grief-stricken music for people already on the edge who need a little nudge over the side. This is dreadful shit; not because it's bad but because it inspires dread.

Want a taste? Here's the official video for the song "731" off of Meth Drinker's split 12" with OPEN TOMB:





Harsh, huh?

I suppose the obvious and immediate comparison that Meth Drinker draws is to EYEHATEGOD. While I wouldn't deny that Meth Drinker is influenced by EyeHateGod, I don't hear that much of a direct comparison and EyeHateGod is an inspiration to all bands that play slow and destructive metal/punk like this. When I listen to Meth Drinker, I hear something far more murderous than EyeHateGod. EyeHateGod was too fogged by alcohol and drugs to be as precise and focused as Meth Drinker. Focused on what? Fulfilling that murder/suicide pact. There's only one way out of this...





What I love about Meth Drinker is an unhinged combination of some supremely evil sludge/doom/hate/nihilism bands: DYSTOPIA, THE ENDLESS BLOCKADE, GRIEF, and CORRUPTED. This is music for people who smoke angel dust at 10:00 a.m. Along with the uplifting aesthetics of the previously-mentioned sludge bands, Meth Drinker shares the same dead-world philosophy and aesthetics as DESPISE YOU and WORLD BURNS TO DEATH, even though Meth Drinker doesn't share their sounds.

Meth Drinker kicks total ass. As previously mentioned, this is a new band that is actually worth your valuable time, energy, and money. Check out the Meth Drinker Bandcamp page to hear a few songs off of each release.





So far, Meth Drinker has released a self-titled 7" and a self-titled LP. The band also released split 12" EPs with Open Tomb and MOLOCH. Good luck finding those in the states. Full U.S. tour now! In the meantime, the proper way to jam Meth Drinker is alone in the dark with a loaded gun in your lap.

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LIVE REVIEW: Dying Fetus, Exhumed, etc...

Dying Fetus, Exhumed, Waking the Cadaver, Abiotic, and Flesh Hoarder
live @ Red7
10OCT13 in Austin, Texas


On one of those rare Thursday nights in Austin where it's not 110 degrees outside, I find myself weaving through traffic with Brandon Commando behind the wheel, desperately searching for one of the few remaining free parking spaces downtown. With a minimal loss of life and property, we found a spot about three blocks away from the club. Your overreaching municipal bureaucracy can't keep us down, man.

I'd never heard the first band of the evening. Over the years, I've found that it's when I'm unfamiliar with a band and have no expectations is when I'm floored by something new. Well, it happened again when FLESH HOARDER took the stage. The band can't decide if it's from San Antonio, Austin, or Maxwell but who cares? Flesh Hoarder plays ripping, blastastic death metal in the Cannibal Corpse/Suffocation vein. These Tex-Mex vatos totally kill it, musically speaking, but with song titles like "Infactuation with Menstruation", I'm betting that there's a lot to be desired in the lyric department. They have a demo CD that's making the rounds. Grab it and decide for yourself.



One-for-one so far for the evening. Usually, the local opener is an abysmal waste of time but not tonight. I actually got to see something impressive. I wish I could say the same for Florida's ABIOTIC. This band is living proof that chops alone do not a good band make. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are living proof of this hypothesis and Abiotic are a extension of the same logic. Yes, the band can play circles around most of its contemporaries but there's not an interesting song to be found in the setlist. What's more, Abiotic are fully devoid of any originality. The plagiarism is so blatant that not only did I immediately spot riffs lifted from Candiria, the Dillinger Escape Plan, and Cannibal Corpse but I also counted four separate riffs from The Faceless. This is a band that went through its collective record collection, cherry-picked the choice material, and glued it all together into a boring ball of mush. Utter trash. The singer wants you to know that there are products for sale over at the merch booth. The bass player was the best thing about this band. Watch for him to bounce out of Abiotic and join Coheed & Cambria (or someone of the like) shortly.

Here is the single that Abiotic's singer wouldn't stop yapping about.


Next up was WAKING THE CADAVER with a shipment of New Jersey's greatest cultural export: wigger slam metal. At what point did people start saying to themselves, "You know, I want to start a band that sounds exactly like Emmure."? When did that happen? Because it happened at least once, because I'm watching it bore me to tears. Yep, Waking The Cadaver is dead-set on riding that open-E chug all the way to Valhalla. You should listen to this band if you want to watch five people make Hatebreed look like John Coltrane. All of this said, "Life Lesson", Waking The Cadaver's closing song, was quite the epic jam. I think there's a good band in here somewhere, I just can't hear it yet. Plus, Waking The Cadaver was merely bad where Abiotic was genuinely offensive.

Although this was filmed in Philadelphia, it's an accurate depiction of the boredom thrust upon an unsuspecting Red7.


Now, with the cynical big-metal-label cash grabs out of the way, we can get down to the real bands. EXHUMED took the stage and set it ablaze with a proper mixture of gore/grind (a.k.a. sounding like Carcass) and Bay Area thrash and hardcore. It's not just the Carcass influence that makes Exhumed so interesting. I love how they incorporate the brutal West Coast sounds of Capitalist Casualties, Deadbodieseverywhere, No Less, Plutocracy, and the rest being incorporated into the death metal framework. It works. It rules. I also loved the maniac surgeon character who popped up throughout the set and I really enjoyed the Looney Tunes inspired skit of the lead guitarist. Check it out the next time Exhumed comes to your city.





In what should be no surprise to anyone, DYING FETUS stole the show. After all, it is the band's own headlining tour.

They took all the kids to school. They showed all the posers what time it was. They proved why they're one of Relapse's flagship bands. Can you believe that these guys once-upon-a-time released a CD on Wild Rags Records?

Dying Fetus mixes in enough moshcore into its style of technical death metal that its music appeals to nearly all. The crappy opening bands should note that Dying Fetus doesn't have to beg the crowd to start a circle pit or to crowd the front. Dying Fetus doesn't need to say anything. The band lets the music do the talking


Holy crap! Footage from the actual show at Red7!

...and more.

...and more.

...and more.


So, what have we learned? We learned that Mexicans from the 'hood can really nail that Cannibal Corpse-style, gory death metal. We learned that all the talent in the world is no cure from being a trend-hopping douchebag. We learned that reading is fucking dumb. Finally, we learned that Relapse should send its bands out in pairs more often.




\m/