An Occulted History of The Haunted (at least concerning its touring history in Austin)

The Haunted
One Kill Wonder
Earache

One of the fringe benefits of living in Austin is the ability to absorb tons of supernatural/conspiracy talk radio shows; which I've been listening to copiously. I've even been on Ground Zero with Clyde Lewis twice within the last two weeks. All of this tin-foil-hat talk has left me contemplating the natural order of the world.

We, as the human race, may be better off if we shift our thinking to a four-dimensional frame of mind. The best way I can describe that is comparing it to the way that Dr. Manhattan from The Watchmen sees the world. He sees the entire existence of a person or an object from origin to extinction like those "evolution of man" timelines. We live in neither a linear nor temporary existence. All matter in the universe that will ever exist already does and it floats for eternity waiting to be reshaped and reformed time and time again.

I had a curious experience that echoes my hypothesis of humanity as bouncing atoms seeking harmony, and it stars Swedish death/thrash legends The Haunted. In the Spring of 2001, I saw a show at the old Backroom club on Riverside Drive that was one of those "Can you believe these guys all toured together?" experiences. It was called The Spring Neck Break Tour with Cannibal Corpse, Dimmu Borgir, The Haunted, and Lamb of God. Yep, that happened once and it was awesome.

Flash forward to 2003 and, this time, I get to see The Haunted headline the big room at the old Emo's with Bleeding Through, Shai Hulud, and Kataklysm opening. There was a huge crowd and a good time was had by all.

Then, over the course of the next decade, the atoms start bouncing. In 2004, The Haunted's rad singer left the band and its original ding-dong singer came back. Also in 2004, it appeared for a moment that Bleeding Through may win the Great Metalcore Sweepstakes of The Stars but, as we all know now, Lamb of God and Killswitch Engage ended up winning that war. Bleeding Through limped along and is playing its final tour this year.

The Backroom shuts down in 2006 and lies dormant for years. Austin enters boom-times unseen since The Great Tech Bubble. The Eastside gets gentrified. The East Riverside Corridor follows suit. The old Emo's on Sixth Street closes in the winter of 2011 but not before concocting an escape plan. The club's then-owner Frank Hendrix reportedly sank two million dollars into remodeling the old Backroom into, tah-dah, Emo's East a.k.a. the new Emo's.

...And, finally, The Haunted's rad singer Marco Aro returns to the band.

So, what did any of this have to do with the occult? Nothing really. This is the sort of area where your brain leads you when it's fed a steady diet of numerology, feng shui, reptilians, microwave weapons, crop circles, and endless CIA dirty tricks. Still, this shell-game of old Austin metal venues can't be a coincidence, can it? Either way, the music rules.







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Eminem - Recovery

Eminem
Recovery
Shady/Aftermath

After having three seperate discussions about this record with three different people of the course of this past weekend, I figured that was a sign. On the eve of the release Slim Shady's new album, let's take a look back at what is likely his most misunderstood work.

Everyone has a goal. Everyone has a dream. Imagine if your dream came true. You won state. You're the CEO. You got that movie role. Whatever it is, it came true. Your on top of the world and the road to the bottom of the mountain is littered with the corpses of your competitors that couldn't make the impossible happen; unlike you.

You achieved everything but something is keeping you awake at night. Your baggage from your old life is still with you. Old habits remains. Old thinking remains. Old patterns remain. The pain of the past makes your achievements ring hollow...

Welcome to Marshall Mathers' life in 2010. His best friend gets murdered in Detroit, he can't stop doing drugs, and he released two consecutive bad records. It looks like everything is going to fall apart. He had to hit the pause button on his own life before God hit the eject button.

But it's not just his life; it's all of our lives. Sure, we don't have millions of dollars and no asks us for autographs but it's the same struggle. Recovery is Eminem's most honest work. He had to take a hard look at his life where it currently stood at the time and then he had to reconcile his reality with the mistakes of the past while desperately trying to figure out what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. It's not just his story. It's our story and he knows this.

Recovery is a powerful record where Eminem stared into the abyss and found the abyss staring back at him. If you or anyone you know has a substance abuse problem, please get help. Get help and do it today. If you don't know where to start, I recommend that you contact the Recovery Center of Huntsville. They have access to resource across the state and across the country. They can guide you to help in your own community.

Take another look at the cover photo. I appreciate the symbolism of the artwork. Let's all take a bit of inspiration from it. We're all going to make that long, lonely walk down 8 Mile Road but we're going to do it together.






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Cypress Hill - Greatest Hits from the Bong

This is it. This is the last of the old stuff. This record should need the least introduction of them all. If you don't know Cypress Hill, I don't think there's any help for you.

Columbia Records threw a fit about this being posted a few years back. That's why the original post was taken down (FYI: check out the original post date). With that in mind, I did something a little different this time. Considering how this is Cypress Hill's greatest hits album, I found a file (thank you, Dome Lemone) that contains the videos from all the songs. Some of them are censored versions, which I don't dig, but now you're getting your money's worth out of that smartphone.


Cypress Hill
Greatest Hits from the Bong
Ruffhouse/Columbia

It's Cypress fucking Hill, y'all. Happy 4/20. In case you went into a coma around the summer of 1990 and just came out of it this morning, Cypress Hill is one of the greatest rap bands ever. Damn near every song is about smoking bud, they write and play live as a band and they are the kings of West Coast Hip-hop. Like this really needs an introduction. Now sing their songs and puff all night long, as we all take hits from the bong.




EDIT: This one goes out to DC the Medic. Click on the comments for punchline (if necessary).






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The Wasteland (Vol. 2)

Between Obamacare, the NSA spying scandal, unrest in the Middle East, Wall Street's financial house of cards, and another season of The Voice, things are looking grim here in the land of opportunity. Then, just when you think it can't get any worse, this happens...



Yep. That really happened. Steve Aoki, the man who elevated selling out to an art form, teamed up with everyone's favorite mall rockers Linkin Park to show how much they wub(step) you. Did you know that Aoki's dad owns the Benihana chain of restaurants? I first heard of this moron through his terrible hardcore band This Machine Kills. I guess you've got to play the part when you're getting your women's studies degree from UCSB. So much for sticking it to the man, eh Steve?
...But then it gets worse.



I really, really dig Lorde. I love what I've heard of the Pure Heroine album. Lorde reminds me of Edie Brickell, which is nothing but a good thing. I even posted the "Royals" video last week. However, we live in a world where the typical hipster shithead would much rather ride the coattails of someone else's success than to even attempt anything original. Attempt? Attempting anything requires effort and the American Hipster ain't going down that road. So what we end up with is garbage like the video posted above. I have no clue who the Pentatonix are but I'll gladly support any effort to lock them in a cage in Gitmo. Do not search YouTube for "Lorde 'Royals' cover" unless you're prepared to cry yourself to sleep.

...But it's not all despair, is it? No, delusion and hysteria still have their places in American life; like this unintentionally hilarious article from The Daily Caller. That logic is stretched tighter than Mickey Rourke's facelift.

Speaking of unintentionally hilarious, I didn't know that Red Bull was in the comedy business.

Speaking of delusional, check out the video for "Rage" by Angel Du$t...



I don't care what Justice Tripp says, this song blows. Dudes who heard U.S. Bombs for the first time last week are stoked.

If the Austin Police don't kill your dog, then they'll probably just shoot in the back of the neck.

One last serious thought: the death penalty is bullshit. Do something about it. I do. Your first step should be to contact these people. They'll get you pointed in the right direction.

...And this week's big finish comes courtesy of Rocky Reidel. Let's take'em all the way back...






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Pig Destroyer – Terrifyer

Yo. Here's more old hate from back in the day. I stand by this review (so does my brother) and nothing else needs to be said about the now-classic record. If you don't own a physical copy of Terrifyer (on vinyl, CD, cassette; whatever you've got), then you can go ahead and consider yourself a massive lame-o. What are you even doing on this website? I'm sure that your local Mix 96 station is playing Taylor Swift right now. That's probably more your speed.

There is one more thing worth mentioning. For as much as I love Terrifyer, I have to honestly say that my favorite Pig Destroyer record is Phantom Limb. Of course, Book Burner rules just as much. Maybe Pig Destroyer is becoming one of those bands like Metallica or Converge, where everyone seemingly has a different favorite record of the same band. Where do you stand on this? Post your thoughts on the No Funeral funkbook page.

Pig Destroyer
Terrifyer
Relapse




The common perception among the metal masses is that Prowler in the Yard is Pig Destroyer’s most brutal hate. I, along with fellow No Funeral critic DC the Medic, believe that Terrifyer is the actual hate. The reality of the situation is that all the Pig Destroyer material is pure hate and that Terrifyer is every bit as good as Prowler in the Yard. These thrash-influenced grind-meisters have continually turned heavy music on its side throughout their existence. They get brutal like no other (except for Insect Warfare) and Terrifyer is beginning-to-end intense.

Only Terrifyer has been post below. Although this review covers only the Terrifyer LP, my copy was the two-disc version that included the Natasha DVD. I was upset by Relapse’s initial treatment of Natasha as a mere add-on, but Relapse finally gave it a proper LP/CD release last year. Natasha will be posted as its own review in the future (next month?) as I believe it’s a work that should be evaluated on its own.

Compared to the other Pig Destroyer albums, Terrifyer has the most noticeable thrash influence. This is thrash in the vein of Dark Angel, not Municipal Waste. It adds an exciting new element to the band’s sound. Voraciously recommended.






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Clutch – From Beale Street to Oblivion

Here's the latest in the new (old), banned reviews: Clutch's 2007 opus From Beale Street to Oblivion. I published the original post a few weeks after the release of Strange Cousins From the West, so that's was I was alluding to in the opening paragraph. Speaking of which, what did I say back in 2009?


**************************************************************
Clutch
From Beale Street to Oblivion
DRT



Clutch is a prolific band. As a matter of fact, as I write this, Clutch just finished writing, recording and releasing a new double LP. Okay, they’re not that prolific, but they keep pumping out new records. I was going to call From Beale Street to Oblivion the new Clutch, but that’s no longer true. So, here’s a newer Clutch album from 2007.

From Beale Street to Oblivion shares the metallic racket of the self-titled album but it retains the demented, smoked-out blues-rock Clutch crafted during this past decade. It’s the perfect mix of this band’s old and new sounds.

Is it better than Blast Tyrant or Robot Hive/Exodus? They all rule. Where have you been? Clutch is one of the all-time greats and all of their material is mandatory listening.
**************************************************************


So, did anything change between then and now? Oh, yes. Yes, things changed for Clutch.

Beginning in the Fall of 2009, a track on the LP (number six to be exact) unexpectedly started climbing the charts. With "Electric Worry", Clutch scored a Top 40 hit after 19 years of slugging it out in dive bars and van tours. "Electric Worry" peaked at #38 on the Singles Chart while From Beale Street to Oblivion reached #4 on the Independent Albums Chart and #52 on the Billboard Top 40 Album Chart. Not bad for some weirdos from Maryland.

...And it wasn't just hit singles and album sales. All of the sudden, Hollywood fell in love with Clutch; starting with this album. They were marginalized or flatly ignored to this point but things changed after "Electric Worry." First, the video became a hit on MTV. You've seen this before, right? Somebody did. It's sitting at slightly under six million views.



The single was used in commercials for the video game Left 4 Dead 2 and the TV series Memphis Beat. It was even used as the goal-scoring song by the Vancouver Canucks.



...And it didn't stop there. Proving themselves no one-hit wonder, Clutch has had two songs featured in AMC's The Walking Dead ("The Regulator" and "Gone Cold"). "50,000 Unstoppable Watts" and "Escape From the Prison Planet" are frequently used as bumper music on talk radio shows across the country. Clutch was featured on an episode of the reality show Ace of Cakes (the vocalist's sister is one of the bakers). They've had over a dozen singles appear on video game and movie soundtracks. Basically, Clutch is one of those overnight success stories that was two decades in the making.

So, what's changed in four years? Clutch broke into the mainstream. They did it without selling out and they deserve every iota of their success. As Clutch proves conclusively, it ain't over until it's over. Never give up.

Neurosis - Souls at Zero

The legendary Souls at Zero album by Neurosis is the latest in No Funeral new/old/banned review series. Originally, this was a test run at ripping MP3s from my own vinyl. I guess that's what pissed off Neurot Recordings Inc. to the point where they had the post removed. Just as well. There wasn't much of a review in the original text. For posterity's sake, here's what I said back then...


************************************************************************** Neurosis
Souls at Zero
Alternative Tentacles



I'm still working out the kinks in my new vinyl transfer program so, until this thing is running 100%, I'll be posting a series of classic albums. The records in this series will be ripped from the original vinyl and uploaded onto MediaFire by me. Be sure to grab these.

First up is Souls at Zero by Neurosis. It was the first vinyl 12" I ever mail-ordered. I thought it appropriate that it be the first to get ripped and uploaded.


Neurosis - Souls at Zero

. **************************************************************************

That didn't really say anything, now did it? Let's take another whack at Souls at Zero.

This album was the last time I genuinely heard a new AND original idea. Usually, when you hear a new band or song, you can trace back the influences in your head. "They sound like Pantera mixed with Travis Tritt", or something of the like. When it comes to Neurosis, where and how did they dream this up? Souls at Zero melted my brain out of my head when I was in high school and heard it for the first time. All these years later, it still stops me in my tracks. This is one of those album I have to listen to in its entirety.

I suppose that it's worth mentioning that I got to see Neurosis back in February at Emo's. Except for when they closed with "Locust Star" off of Through Silver in Blood, there was no pit. The whole crowd stood there, jaws agape, watching this band play; and play they did. It was a good mix of songs from all their album, although I don't think they played any Pain of Mind era stuff. Brent Hinds of Mastodon calls this the Neurosis Effect. If you just walked into the room, you'd immediately think the band was having a bad show; until you realize that the entire crowd is actually pay attention. Life kind of stops until the set is over. I believe hypnotic is the appropriate word.

The full album is available for streaming below. Click on it to find out what the big deal is...






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Gallo Speaks...

You guys know Grant Gallo, right? He's from around the way. He's down for brutal music. He works on 6th Street, so he witnesses all manner of throw'd off shit on a daily basis. Gallo is one of the last legit people in Austin who's doing this rock-n-roll thing for the "right reasons*."
Gallo wrote a brief essay that echoed many of the thoughts going through my own head. Read what he said below. Read his original post here.


*********************************************************************************************************************
I am SO FUCKING TIRED of seeing person after person after fucking person on band pages arguing with each other in the comments threads. Is making some dickish point, about some shit that probably doesn't matter, to someone you probably don't even know really more important to you than whatever band it is you have taken the time out of your day to like and read posts from? REALLY?!
THIS, more than anything, is what I see to be the cause of the "dying scene" everyone keeps talking about. True, heavy music fans really don't make up too high of a percentage of music fans in our country, but we are never going to move forward if all we can do is fuck with each other about petty bullshit that won't even be remembered in a week.
I realize that some things people say are ignorant and should be argued or addressed, but much more often it's two kids trying to prove who is more badass or who is more metal or hardcore or kvlt or more what the fuck ever. Enough of this shit, it's time we become a community again as fans of heavy music, because fans of other music damn sure aren't going to understand us. Anyone with me?
*********************************************************************************************************************

Here's a picture of Grant Gallo chillin' hard.


Now, let me be clear... I LOVE arguing about music but I love the Rhodes Roundtable/debate club aspect of it. Think of me as a mobile heavy metal think tank. Not only do I love arguing about metal, I absolutely love making smart-ass comments about everything and anything. But that is not what Gallo is talking about.

I believe what Gallo is addressing is the team/gang/groupthink mentality that has infiltrated not only underground music but nearly every aspect of life at this point. Everyone wants to "win", reason and logic be damned. Yet, none of them have any clue what to do once they've "won." Better yet, what the hell is anybody "winning?"

Music is an art form, not a competition. There's room for everyone, even the bad stuff. Bad is subjective. Taste is subjective. The objects of Gallo's rage have clearly forgotten this (or never learned it in the first place). No Funeral has always held the perspective that it's a much better use of everyone's time to highlight the good stuff and to ignore the bad stuff, rather than waste time slamming it endlessly. There's room to have fun when criticizing and analyzing rock and roll but this misguided, relentless negativity has to go.

Metal is only one aspect of life. The social appeal is that we, the headbangers, can relate to each other through our culture in a way that is not possible with members of conventional social norms. In other words, we all have to spend most of our days with people that don't get this music and would rather see it thrown into the sun. Let's all agree to not make life needlessly complicated for each other by slamming bands, slamming other people, and being a general nuisance. At least two of us in Austin are sick of this attitude and I imagine that thousands of others share the sentiment.

I suppose that's enough of an emo trip for today. We've all got to get back to work. Or, like Mayor Quimby, we've all got better things to do.

* = There's no dictionary definition of the "right" reason to be involved in metal and hardcore but I define it as treating this music like a performing art. It's not an excuse to score free drugs, free women, avoid 9-to-5 work, and generally live in a world of delusion; but you wouldn't know that from walking around this dump of a city.






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Pig Destroyer – 38 Counts of Battery

Here's another new/old review. This was originally posted in the Spring of 2009 but "The Man" (as we discussed him yesterday) yanked down the entire post instead of just removing the link. Sigh...

What did I say back then?


Pig Destroyer
38 Counts of Battery
Relapse



I check the downloading statistics everyday, so I know exactly how psycho you guys are for Pig Destroyer. I also know how much you’re going to dig this album. 38 Counts of Battery is a discography containing some of Pig Destroyer’s early material. This is pure grindcore terrorism with the hatchlings that would become JR Hayes' lunatic lyricism. 38 Counts of Battery features the Pig Destroyer sides of split EPs with Isis and Orchid, the Explosions in Ward 6 LP, the Pig Destroyer demo and a Dark Angel cover from a never-released thrash covers compilation.

While Explosions in Ward 6 may be eBay fodder these days, it was unmastered and sounds like doo-doo. Those songs have been mastered for 38 Counts of Battery and many of those same songs turn up on the Pig Destroyer demo. Of all the material on this CD, I must confess that my favorites are the Carcass covers originally featured on the split with Isis. The final song on Explosions in Ward 6, “Pixie”, is a window into the future of Pig Destroyer, in addition to simply being ahead of its time. You know you need this.




Pig Destroyer – 38 Counts of Battery






What's changed since then?

The only changes have been positive. Pig Destroyer's stature as one of the all-time, heavyweight champions of grindcore has only solidified over the years. I am proud to say that I "nailed it" concerning the lyrics. If you read the Decibel Magazine Hall of Fame article about Pig Destroyer's Prowler In The Yard album, guitarist Scott Hull is quoted as saying the best thing to happen to Pig Destroyer was when vocalist JR Hayes stopped reading Chomsky and started reading Proust. Yep, I noticed it back then and I couldn't agree more.

Here's the album, sort of. It's posted to Youtube one song at a time but the next song automatically begins when the last one ends; just like a CD. In theory, it should work the same way for you. We'll find out...

Here's how Miley Cyrus pissed off the entire city of Detroit

Rhodes Scholar and cancer researcher Miley Cyrus made another "uh-oh." This time it was in that Rolling Stone interview (I'm sure you've seen the cover by now). The long-story-short: She said, "Detroit’s where I felt like I really grew up." As you can imagine, the Motor City did not see the humor in this statement.

I really hate saying something supporting or defending Miley Cyrus but that quote was taken out of context. Sure, it was a poor choice of words but we're talking about someone with a sixth-grade education (or its Hollywood equivalent). Aaron Foley of the website Jalopnik really breaks down Miley's faux pas and what it means for Detroit residents. Read his take here. Basically, Cyrus is the latest in a long line of celebrity-types who have all made "derogatory" statements about a city that going through a really hard time. Detroit has been drilled harder by the Great Recession than any other city and it's collectively tired of jokes. This is all reasonable except for one tiny, little detail.

Cyrus essentially said something positive about the city. She got a tattoo on 8 Mile Road. She went to clubs in Royal Oak and the Renaissance Center. As far as "growing up" is concerned, the first time you get chased down the street by a for-real-ass Detroit crackhead, well..., that's a learning experience for everyone. Miley Cyrus digs Detroit in a roundabout, backhanded way.

...and she's not alone. I dig Detroit. I've got many friends up that way and, other than the snow, I wouldn't mind living there at some point in the future. Yes, we all hate Hollywood and any excuse to slam a moron celebrity is a good time, but it's not called for in this case. Everyone calm down and let a dum-dum have the time of her life. Instead, let's take a look back at some of Detroit's greatest hits...


Cold As Life opening for Blood for Blood and Pitboss 2000 @ The Magic Stick:

Walls of Jericho bring the Motor City hate to Wacken in 2009:
Here's the video for Black Dahlia Murder's single "Everything Went Black":

You should know this song...

Oh yeah, these guys are also from Detroit.





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Strife - In This Defiance

As you may have noticed, "The Man" jumped my ass about all those free MP3s. In all honesty, that was one of the main things causing these huge delays with the No Funeral website. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep going if a certain president and his administration were going to keep screwing with the internet, but I persevered.

This website has always been about sorting the good rock music from the ocean of garbage out there. Raising awareness is the point; not giving or getting free stuff. That means, for the most part, the gravy train is over but I still stand by my reviews. Over the next little bit, I'll be reposting the reviews taken down by "The Man" but making any necessary changes in perspective. After all, these were written over three years ago.

Today's lost review is of Strife's 1997 masterpiece In This Defiance. Here's what I said back then...


Strife
In This Defiance
Victory



Strife was one of the original Big Three on Victory Records. They are often erroneously called the West Coast Earth Crisis. If they were anything, Strife is the West Coast Snapcase.

Maybe Strife gets compared to Earth Crisis because of their views. I never got caught up in that stuff. I do know that, musically, both Strife and Snapcase are the straightedge sons of Helmet. Of the two, Strife hits a little harder. This is due to Strife driving a dump truck full of mosh to every gig. Listening to the breakdowns of In This Defiance, I can only imagine how violent their shows were back in the 90s.

This is a pretty cool record for tough-guy mosh, but be warned. You will hate In This Defiance

Strife - In This Defiance



.


What's different now? Nothing. Strife still kicks ass. I'm not sure what I meant by the final sentence of the review; I chalk it up to being stoned at the time. Other than that, this is every bit as valid in the 2013 No Funeral universe as it was in 2009. Also, that link doesn't work (obviously) but I've got something just as good...

The Wasteland (Vol. 1)

Tuesday. Whatever. There's no unifying theme (not even a redux (for those that get the joke)) today; just some nonsense I've observed...

If you ever listen to Dudley & Bob (sometimes it can't be avoided), you know that these are two washed-up, former comedians who trot out the same tired routine day after day. It's typical "zoo crew" garbage but they accidentally talked about something half-way interesting today (the Broken Watch Theory, hard at work). They were talking about the creepiest music video in the history of mankind: "Into The Night" by Benny Mardones. It's a lovely, tasteful, yacht-rock-style ballad about pedophilia. No big deal. The Dudley & Bob host who is the broken-down alcoholic, I think that's Dudley, actually admitted to being a fan of this song. Here comes the horror in 3... 2... 1...


Speaking of horror, here's a reunion no one asked for: Veruca Salt are back! To be fair, they did have a few decent songs. Here's one of them...

Ha! Remember when bands used to get budgets for stuff? Yeah, that video was terrible, but what a chorus...


Travis is down with this whole Nirvana nostalgia thing.


The Austin police are going to shoot your dog. Don't believe me? Click on this link to read 82 articles by the American-Statesman about the APD greasing the family pet.

...But it's not all bad news. The Pirates are going to the playoffs for the first time since Barry Bonds was on the team, so that's something, right? Oh, there is one more thing: Trap Them still kicks ass.





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This is what passes for metal these days?

I'm going to kick off this week by ruining your Monday. Where to start...

In a world polluted with unnecessary and deceptive press releases, I found the cream of the crap this morning. Some band in Georgia called Issues (never heard of 'em) kicked out its drummer, CASE SNEDECOR. Having been kicked out of Issues, Snedecor issued (ha!) the most whiny, spoiled-brat press release in the history of mankind. The original post is here, but the portion below is the matter of concern:




*************************************************************************************************** I'm not exactly sure why I'm writing this, other than the fact that apparently I've been nothing but trash talked by my former band. I was kicked out of Issues because apparently they didn't think I was a "good enough" drummer. It was so embarrassing because for awhile I honestly believed this to be true. Well honestly, the reason I was kicked out is because I disagreed with someone in that band so much, that he said if I was in the band, he wouldn't be. The BAND told me this. He is a key writer so I got kicked out. "SUPPOSEDLY" I can't play Hooligans up to par. The most popular video of Hooligans that everyone saw live with me just so happened to be the night I was the sickest I'd ever been. So later down the road this member used it as leverage to "prove" his point. The new drummer, Josh, who was my friend, went to dinner with me after I was kicked out and told me that he was offered the position. He then asked me if I'd been paid my promised pay from the band. I said no, and he said he would make sure that happened (never did). I told him to join the band because my experience was something I could have never had elsewhere and he said "I don't know why they want me, your feet are better than mine." So I'm going to start this part by saying Josh is an unbelievable drummer. He's better than I am but he's also got 3 years on me. My house was where Issues lived while in GA and practiced. When we got home from tour, my parents had sold the house and moved to where we couldn't practice or all stay. Josh has a house with a studio. People from the band moved into his house even before I joined. Why not have your roommate play in your band? Couldn't hurt your chances of a place to stay. Also, they had nothing more to "gain" from me. I never got my royalties that I'm contracted to, merch cuts that I was promised, or even a sorry for completely screwing me out of a career. They can say I screwed myself all they'd like, but I know for fact that I can play those drum parts and I think most the people that saw me with Issues can attest to that. And to all of the doubters, I'd gladly post a video of me playing Hooligans whenever I can get a camera on me. I'm posting this because I've been BEGGED to tell the truth of my departure. It's possible they'll come back with some post about my inferiority at drums or something else insulting, but this is the honest truth and I feel much better now that I've actually written it out. Continue to support them, because I honestly believe most of them are good people. But just know that not everything is cut and dry. Don't dramatize this, just take it for what it is. I will not talk about Issues anymore on social networks, I'm done, this is me burning the bridge. I promise. I love you all. ********************************************************************************************************************




The two sections in bold were highlighted by me. Let's tackle the second section first. So, the band lived in your parent's house and, when your parents moved (presumably to distance themselves from your former horseshit band), you got kicked out so the band could then live in the new drummer's house? Is that the information I'm supposed to take away from that paragraph? Wow. That's some first-class, rich-kid bullshit. Get a job.

The previous paragraph is the one that concerns me. The "sickest" he ever played was in the video for "Hooligans?" I sincerely hope he's not talking about this video of them I found of "Hooligans", filmed in San Francisco.

Oh lord...

I see a rap-metal band with a DJ in 2013. I see a six-man line-up (just like Linkin Park). I see a rapping singer and a screaming singer (just like Linkin Park). I see a miserable excuse for avoiding 9-to-5 work (just like Linkin Park). Most importantly, I see a drummer who was mixed down by the soundman and was essentially replaced on stage with a programmed drum beat broadcast through the PA.

Being proud of that performance is like being proud of winning the bronze at the Special Olympics. Sure, you get an "A" for effort but it doesn't stand up against the real deal. Want to see some real drumming? Here's Frost from Satyricon...

Sorry if this post came across a bit harsh but the unholy combination of no talent and a sense of entitlement had me running for the nearest toilet.

Politics? I got ya covered.

I know what you're thinking. "Two posts in the same year? No way." Well, yes way. This probably doesn't qualify as a proper post; It's more like a PSA. If you don't know, I do a radio show with Houston/Little Rock activist Rocky Reidel called MindSplinter Radio. We've got our podcasts, old episodes, essay, and other nonsense posted on the website. You can also reach us on Facebook. MindSplinter Radio deals with socio-political issues and has a far more serious tone than No Funeral. I bring this up because I posted an article today about mind control and microwave weapons that you really should read. So, check it out , hit me back if you have any questions, and keep it brutal. Speaking of brutality, it's YouTube time...

Read my reviews and columns on Buddyhead.com

Howdy,
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not dead; nor was I running Anthony Weiner's failed NYC mayoral campaign. I've been busy in Austin doing rad things like getting my AutoCAD certificate.
In case you haven't noticed, No Funeral hasn't been updated in a millions years (because that has always been a problem with this website: posting too often). I'm still writing but I'm doing a lot of freelance work for other folks. The material of which I'm most proud is over at Buddyhead.com. Here's what you've missed:
I take the new Vampire Weekend LP apart at the joints.
The new Sabbath rules
...so does the new Clutch
Justin Timberlake is a terrorist
The new Nails LP rocks pretty hard
but not as much as the new EyeHateGod
Here's my take on the Hard N Heavy Grindcore Special
...and the battle royale, KING810 vs. common sense.
I've got more new material on the way and I've got much more older stuff to post. I'm eternally getting caught up. You know the drill by now...